once upon a time...

Once upon a time... well isnt that how all stories should begin? Like a little fairytale?  my life has been anything but a "fairytale". I actually have a hard time believing there is any sort of thing out there even resembling a lovely little Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty story. So instead my life has always been like that complicated neverending rollercoaster ride. Lots of ups and downs and all arounds. Unfortunatly. Im sure most of you guys can relate.  And I must say I am not one for roller coasters. Anyways... I will never forget that wonderful day of finding out that i had Cancer. Not just any kind but Chronic AML Leukemia. I remember the Christmas on 1995 my family and I were walking in our local mall. My mom kept commenting that i was getting really skinny and pale. So for 3 months i was going to doctors and having all sorts of tests done to me. Finally march 1996 they found it. The very first thing they did to me when i got to the hospital, just minuets after i found it all out, was give me a spinal tap... AWAKE by the way. That was the most painful thing that was ever done to me. I can even remember and hear my scream. It waws horrible! I had the whole shebang done to me, i had an internal chest line(like an IV), chemo, you name it. That time i did everything the doctors said i wouldnt and couldnt do. I ate everything i wanted without getting sick, i was strong, and fought hard. I was very active, i loved playing with the other kids, doing crafts, and even playing midnight soccer with my night nurses in the halls. I thought it wasen't so bad. We all thought it was all over, and thank God right? But then a year after i was diagnosed, I had a relapse. This time i did not do so well. I was sick all the time, I never ate anything, i was depressed, and I was just miserable. I couldn't believe that this was happening to me all over again. "Could this really be happening? AGAIN?" I thought. There was no way. But I had no choice. It had gotten so bad that they fed me through a tube for, man I dont even remember how long. Tubes comin outt of every which way. It wasen't even being bald that bothered me, I loved it! It was having the treatments and being confined like a little test rat. I couldn't do anything, I couldnt go anywhere, and I hardly saw my family or friends. Not all days were like this thought. I remember one day there was this new girl that came into the special unit i was in. There were like 8 rooms in an enclosed place where you had to wash your hands before you entered. Anytime we left we had to wear those obnoxious masks over our faces, to fight infection or whatever. But like I said there was this new girl that came. I remember she cried and screamed. She wouldnt come out of her room. Her parents started to talk to mine, and they decided to have me go in there to see if she could at least go to the play room with me. After a few minuets I got her to laugh and we were inseprable there. We kept eachother company and played games, we even had the same slippers her mom bought us! Things crumbled when she got to leave. Then i was all alone again. Dont get me wrong though I was so happy she got better and was able to leave. I was so excited when i got the news i could leave and go home. It was my mom and I and the rest of my family was at home. So my mom and I decided that we would go and suprise them. Things went well for a while. My mom and I went to Sicily so I could meet my family there. But of course something else began. We didnt think it was a big deal but it got really hard for me to walk. I was walking on my tippy toes. My calves were as hard as a rock and they were starting to discolor. It started to spread up my body like wildfire. Went back to my doctor and no one there had a clue what was happening. So he sent me to a friend of his at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore. There I met with her and a bunch of Physical Therapists. I swear I was on a dozen medications all at once she put me on. She also told us it was called Graft Vs. Host Disease. This went on for two years. They caught it before it got spread to my face. It not only discolorse the skin so it looks like i was bruised, but it tightens the musclesd and tendons, aas well as the skin. I ended up in a wheelchair for a while because I couldnt walk and it was very painful. Finally though it began to let up after 2 yearsof physical therapy and medications and I finally began to walk. Later I could grab a glass with one hand. By the time i was in Highschool I could run. I was a very long and painful journey but I concoured it.